Wednesday, April 3, 2013

When Jack Hates the Picnic

A certain Mr. Jackpants Bennion is on spring break this week. We've done a whole lot of relaxing, keeping to the house, and enjoying our backyard.

But today we decided to go into town for a picnic. We would meet daddy. The sun would shine. The warm breezes would blow. Life would be wonderful.

Boy, was I wrong.

Jack was so not into our park date.

All our tricks in the book didn't work.

Today reminded me of an important lesson I've learned being Jack's mom. I can't force Jack. I can't expect him to like everything I plan. Even if I think he will. He is his own little self, with an opinion. Even if it's normally his most favorite activity, there are just some days, that for no reason, he won't be into it.

And I shouldn't get disappointed... although that's easier said than done. Parenting Jack is a delicate balance of allowing him independence while pushing him gently toward that independence. Jack does a whole lot of things during his week that he'd probably rather not do (don't we all?). But for him, it's different. He isn't able to communicate his wants and needs very easily. So we are constantly rolling the dice, trying to figure him out, and praying that something will stick. That something will work.

And what little control Jack has over his own life? We nurture that. Because there were days where I pleaded with God that Jack would even have his life. And then! That he would posses the ability to have likes and dislikes. What a wonderful thing, when we knew that Jack would be cognitively aware enough to have an opinion. It's one of the things that is hard to explain about this preemie journey, but it's the truth.

My lesson?

Be flexible, mama. And don't sweat it when Jack hates the picnic.

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1 comment:

P said...

Isn't this so true? Though I'm 3 years behind you in our journey I have moments like this too when V doesn't eat as much as I want him to or doesn't sleep or do tummy time. There's the normal mom disappointment or frustration that things aren't going as planned. And then there's the preemie mom moment of, "Wow, he's alive and healthy enough to know what he wants and is trying to tell us somehow!" Such a delicate balance indeed.