Tuesday, April 30, 2013

The Baby Gate

I can't wait to go all Office Space on our baby gate.

Side note: I contemplated putting up the clip where they destroy the printer, but deemed it not work/young child/or my parents reading this post appropriate. But really, you should watch it purely for how amazing it would feel to totally and utterly destroy something like that... to the tune of gangsta rap. I played the clip like 20 times this morning.

Back to the gate. We trip over it all the time. Our washer and dryer are downstairs. I take a huge load of laundry and have to maneuver myself over the gate, careful not to miss the step, least I should go tumbling down the stairs. It's at this perfectly annoying height. Where you have to get up on your tip toes or you bang your knee. I bang my knee a whole lot.

The problem is, Jack thinks he can go down stairs. But he definitely can't. So the gate stays up. It's for his safety. And it will probably be there until I am 100 million percent certain that he is OK with stairs.

The other morning I was driving into town (about a 20 minute drive) and was thinking of all the various pieces of hardware and equipment that I've wanted, with equal intensity, to destroy in a violent fashion ala' Office Space.

Here they are, in no particular order.

- apnea monitor (that ALWAYS false-alarmed)
- oxygen concentrator (the sound of the prehistoric one they gave us is forever seared into my subconscious)
- the scale (weight checks are of the devil! By the way, I'm pretty sure Tatum already blogged about this)
- gait trainer (a pain in the you-know-what to transport)
- feeding chair (yep, Jack's special chair that he eats meals in and is a permanent fixture in our living room)

Surely I'm forgetting some, but you get the idea. I know these things are beneficial in and of themselves. They save lives. They allow little ones to be at home and not in the hospital. They provide mobility. I get it. Please don't take this the wrong way. Without them, we wouldn't be where we are today. But with each and every bump of the knee, I can fantasize about holding a "Goodbye Baby Gate" party, complete with baseball bats, a huge bonfire in which to throw it in, and a gleeful (crazy?) look in my eye.

The baby gate is next on my list. Hopefully soon...

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Melissa said...

Felt the same way about the concentrator and O2 tanks. And much more recently about bottles. Not that they took up too much space but I was downright gleeful to get rid of them.

Tatum said...

Love this post and also love that you're so much classier than me...I went right ahead and shared that printer clip.

Anonymous said...

We uses these. Would this help you?


Shannon said...

I so get it! For me it's the pulse ox (always false alarming), AFOs because let's face it no matter how many butterfly's & hearts you put on them they are just not pretty, & Kevin's would be the feeding pump. It never alarms for me but he can walk in the room or look at it & itllt start beeping fiercely! Looking forward to seeing how you "take care of" the gate.

Shanda Ranelle said...

Love it! And I feel the same way!

BB said...

I am right there with you! I was all set to have a bonfire (but I love the officespace idea) with Ella's TPN backpack and pole when she finally came off TPN, only to have 1) the supply company wanted the backpack returned and 2) we started overnight continuous feeds so I still need the da*n pole. As of this morning we have a plan to wean the overnight feed... so the day is getting closer for when I can completely DESTROY that pole!