"i regret saving my baby"
Oh how my heart broke when I saw those words. For this person. For whatever their situation may be. This is real life folks, and parenting is not easy, especially children with chronic health problems. I hope and pray with every ounce of my being that my website is an encouragement to whoever happens to stumble upon it. I hope I've been honest enough to show that yes, it is very hard. But in the end, it is oh so worth it.
To those in the midst of making difficult decisions or those that are in desperate need of encouragement, I want you to know that you are not alone. With challenges come so many blessings (even though I know it can be hard to see). If you need help, there are places to go and people ready and willing. Please take these feelings a day at a time. Please, please contact me if you want to chat email@example.com
Where do I find help and encouragement?
1) My faith. One scripture that came to mind while I was writing (one of my favorites) is Psalm 121. When I am feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders, I hold these words close.
2) This preemie community. Yes, I count you all as one of my greatest comforts!
3) Lately I've found a lot of encouragement through the the website Not Alone and their FB page. I especially loved reading this post the other day, titled "I give you permission"
"I give you permission to be tired.
I give you permission to cancel a therapy session.
I give you permission to feel weak.
When it comes to your child with special needs, I give you permission to allow a little grief to co-exist with other emotions like love and joy."4) And as cheesy as it sounds, words and quotes from those who have been through immense tragedy and loss always seem to put things into perspective for me.
From one of my favorites:
Yes, there is HOPE, even when we can't see what's ahead.
I'm not naive enough to think that reading some words will magically make everything better, but it's a start. And if parenting a special needs child has taught me anything, is that you have to take care of yourself and get rest. The world looks pretty bleak when you are exhausted. My other two cents? Surround yourself with positive people. If you have no one around you that fits this bill, there are so many amazing people online, just waiting to help.
Preemie mama friends - what have you found helpful in your own journey? Any suggestions or other great organizations/resources? How do you cope when you you are feeling despair and heartache?