Monday, January 28, 2013

So last night...

So last night.

Downton Abbey.

Was anyone else watching?

That one hit way too close to home. For a show that I usually watch because I love period dramas and the witty writing, it suddenly took a very real-life turn.

And here's the part where I'm going to be totally honest with you all. I had to leave the room. The emotion was just too real, too raw. I got up. Went to another room. I asked Jon "is it over? is she dead yet"? I could see it unfolding during the episode and I knew.

During Jack's four months in the hospital (after his birth, due to my Pre-Eclampsia), there were two other severe cases of this mystery disorder. One mother was left with significant brain damage. Her baby was right next to Jack's isolette. I watched her and her family struggle with their new reality. Another mother died. I will never forget the grieving father leaving the hospital the day after, alone with his new baby.

It's still too real.

And the sad thing? A TV show that takes place 100 years ago showed a very real scenario that is still happening in 2013. There have been no significant advances in the treatment towards Pre-Eclampsia in those 100 years. No known indicator. No known cure.

I don't spend much time thinking about my fate. About the reason why I did not die. But I'm stuck with the realization that Jack had to be born at 23 weeks because of something that was happening to me. Something that came upon me so very quick that we barely made it in time.

So last night? That was a smack in the face coming from a place that I least expected.
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Greg said...

Yeah, that hit me, too. I don't even watch "Downton Abbey," but it's on my list to get to eventually. My wife and I were visiting my in-laws and they were watching it last night. I wondered into the room and caught the last half of the episode. I really could have done without seeing that storyline play out. It messed up my evening -- and I'm still feeling it today. And it's made me less excited about putting what I hear is an awesome show that I would absolutely love higher in my Netflix/Amazon Prime queue.

On the one hand, I'm glad to see popular shows bringing awareness to this. But on the other hand, it was a gut punch.

Tricia said...

I haven't started watching Downton Abbey yet, but I've been hearing a lot about this.

For me so far, it's been the show's Grey's Anatomy ( and now Private Practice. It brings back to many memories.

Was the latest show at least medically accurate? Even if I can't watch, I always hope people are somehow being educated on the events.

Cori said...

Jessi- I felt the same way! So intense. As a pre-e/HELLP survivor, I knew what was happening and saw it coming. I remembered how they wouldn't let me meet Leo for two days after birth because I was lying there, pumped full of mag to prevent seizures. As soon as they said all was well with Sybil, I knew all would not be well.

My Hubs and I usually watch it together but he had gone upstairs to check on our sick son, so I was left alone watching it play out. I felt like vomiting afterward. That and full of gratitude to live in a time where that didn't have to be my outcome.

So strange to be so affected when I thought I'd closed that door emotionally.

NewMom said...

I am a pre-e survivor too. My son was 28 weeks. He is 5 months now so it's all still "fresh" but watching a hospital commercial with the NICU in it makes me cry lol. Love your blog. It's nice reading bc so many people don't understand the preemie reality or even how close to death I came. Makes it hard to relate to other Moms, thank god fornthe internet! Your blog helps.
Cori- I had to wait over a day too! Horrible! Glad we are all okay today!

Jessi said...

I knew you guys would get it. So difficult to watch.