Can you imagine how difficult this must have been?
As her friend I desperately wanted to be a support to her during this hard time of single parenting and worrying about her husband's safety. She did not live in my town and we were under RSV isolation, but I tried my best to let her know that I cared and was thinking about her. I did not quite understand the emotional toil she was facing and I often wondered if what I was doing was helpful. Was I saying the right things? Was I encouraging to her or just aggravating the already raw surface?
I will never know everything she went through during that year. I could only try to ask sensitive questions and try to put myself in her shoes. They key word is "try".
I'm sure you can see where I'm going here.
Unless you have been in a similar situation, you can't possibly compare or comprehend. You just can't. And likewise, there is no way to understand the complex world of parenting a micro preemie unless you have been there. We've blogged about the NICU journey, the emotions, the death, the life, the day to day, the worry, the stress, the joys, the heartache, and about our world being turned upside down. All of it. It's on here for those interested in reading hundreds of thousands of words... you can read, you can ask questions, you can try.
But unless you have lived it, you will not fully understand. Such is life.
And here is my kicker - unless you have been there, I believe this takes away the validity of the opinions you have relating to micro preemie life. Or maybe (and probably more accurately), your "right" to have me listen to your opinions. You can say all you want, come to conclusions, research, whatever, but it's just not the same as living it. That means your opinion about my emotions, how I react, and what I write about and say... it's really not up for discussion.
This is my blog. The story of my family. The story of my micro preemie son. You won't always get it. You won't always agree. And it really doesn't matter. This is my truth and no one is going to fully understand because they are not us.
There, I said it.