Tuesday, November 27, 2012

the remedy

Of course after posting yesterday about how much to share, the topics I write about, and whether to go "there", I get a comment.

A really well thought out comment. Very polite, really. But a comment nonetheless where a reader was "hurt"  (ouch) when she read a specific something that I wrote. She found it "disrespectful" (also, ouch). On a post from almost two years ago, but still. I don't want to hurt my reader's feelers, even if I believe in the words I type. It just doesn't settle very well.

(Of course my fighting spirit rises up and I want to shoot back - "you will never, ever understand extreme prematurity unless you've been there!" But that is for another day).

So ironic that I would get that comment. Needless to say, I am still ironing out that delicate balance in my mind. What to share. How to share it. I know I won't please everyone. This blog is and always has been about micro preemie life.

But of course as fate would have it, I get the well thought out, disagreeing comment, the second after I publish such a thing! There is only one thing that will remedy this situation.


Cute Jack pictures.

And then these.

No more words needed.
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Bethany Zawislak said...

Hi Jessi:
Just wanted to tell you that I follow your blog bc our stories are so similar, and I have yet to meet anyone who "gets" what we go through, and have gone through. As far as others being "hurt" or whatever, here's my philosophy... your blog is REAL, it's TRUTH. Sometimes TRUTH hurts. When I feel hurt by something I read on a particular page, I take myself off the delivery list. I want to thank you for your blog; I feel like I'm not alone on this crazy, heartbreaking, hopeful, rollercoaster of a journey.

mouse said...

I have to say I agree with Bethany. Your blog is so touchingly personal as it is no ones journey but yours, Jons and Jacks, that is seems sad that your writing was direspectful to someone else. As Bethany said, truth sometimes hurt like life hurts. So many choices are not-clear cut are too many things for our children are less than perfect. Many times I feel like I am choosing the lesser of two evils when presented with a decison: in an ideal world, I would want neither. We don't always have to agree wityh everyone else, but we should respect what anyone has done and said in the past in their own unique situation whether we think we would have done the same or not. One of the things I admire most about your blog is it is so supportive and informative, whilst simaltaneously being personal to your family. There is nothing to say that anyone should do what you have or that any preemie will be the same as Jack, for better or worse. x

Jay, Gina, & Ruthie said...

I am agreeing with the above commenter, and maybe I'm a little mean about it, but I don't CARE what other people think when they haven't been down this road. Like you said, they will never, ever understand until they've been there. So don't let people hurt your feelings or discourage you from writing from your heart - there are hundreds of people who love your blog and your thoughts and are encouraged daily by both. Poo on the naysayers. :)

Ashley said...

Um, it's your blog. You get the right to write whatever you want. Including but not limited to: prematurity, your feelings about prematurity, your family and what it's like raising a former preemie, poop, the Easter Bunny... Ok, I'll stop now. But you get the point. A blog is a form of self expression... so rock on Mama!

Anonymous said...

I had to respond. I'll tell you up front, I can't relate. I've never walked this road. But. I respect everything you share because it's Your story. Your life. Your journey.
I read your blog because I want to learn. I have 5 kids, all overdue. I thought that was so frustrating! But then I had a friend who had a preemie. And, he did really well, but it woke me up to this walk that other people go through. And I want to understand it. So I read, and respect what is written because it's your truth.
Don't change for anyone. Yup, truth can hurt. But if you stop speaking it because some people don't like it, we all lose. I'd hate to see that happen.
Thank you. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. You don't have to do that. But I for one, am thankful. Please don't change a thing!

Signed, Just Me. :)

Becky P. said...

Jessi, I agree with Bethany. Your blog is about what it truly means to walk the path of a micro-preemie. It isn't easy and it is often a lonely road. I have said it before but I used to spend HOURS pouring over your blog when Bella was first born. I wanted hope, but I also wanted someone who had been through what I was going through. The day we found out about her brain bleeds, I went and read all your posts about Jack's bleeds. When some other crisis would arise I would scour your blog looking for a time when you went through those same emotions. Now that Bella is home, I look through your blog looking for encouragement that Bella will eventually hit milestones.... I consider you a "mirco-preemie" blogging pioneer. You are honest about the good and bad of extreme prematurity. There are always those out there who are quick to judge because they have never been in our situation. It is easy to say what you "think" you would do in our situation, but you don't really know until you are in the thick of it what you would do. Please keep writing from you heart. This mama loves to read your posts!!!

Tatum said...

I didn't fact check the source of this quote, but according to Pinterest, Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you will criticized anyway".