|Jack at 5 months old.|
There were two times in Jack's life (besides the NICU) where he stopped eating and we had to insert an NG tube in order to get food into him. We were trained in sticking that little tube down Jack's nose, throat, and into his belly. We knew how to use the stethoscope to check for the right placement. Listening for that little "pop" noise when pushing some air through the tube to the belly. We had to make sure that the tube was in the right spot and not his lungs.
Holding your child down, restraining them, and sticking a tube down their nose and throat is probably the worst thing I have ever had to do. It's one of the reasons I was so relieved to get a permanent g-tube. No more torturing Jack, just being able to get food in his belly.
When I saw Jack playing this morning, with items that used to bring so much stress into our lives, I was again reminded of how far we've come.
I remember some of those hard, hard days the first year of Jack's life. Of wondering if it would always be so difficult, so grueling. What would our life even be like? We didn't know and some days, we still don't. But we have to daily make the choice to be strong with whatever circumstances come our way. We just have to keep going.
Many people have said to me since Jack was born "I just don't know how you do it." Well, I just tell them that there is really no other choice.