Are you going to try and have another one?
They are talking about another baby, you know.
It's the normal progression of questions that people just have to ask and can't seem to let be. When you date someone, people want to know "is this the one? and when will you get engaged?" And then after marriage "when are you going to start having kids? how many? when when when!?" Normal human curiosity, I guess.
They are such personal questions, but in our culture, seems almost akin to asking someone how their day is going. So I get it quite a bit. Of course in our unique circumstance, I get even more questions and more curiosity. It's the added benefit of being asked "can you even have another one?" AKA is it safe? And I suppose that since I blog about prematurity and my son, one can assume that I would be open about such things and want to discuss them in detail, no matter how painful/awkward/intimate it is or (gasp!) really not anyone's business.
When it's not a close friend, I often want to tell the person to, please, mind their own business. Seriously. Who wants to talk about "trying", pre-term birth, percentages, risks, procedures, meds, and the like? But then there are the people that are genuinely close to you, family and friends, who want to know if that is on the horizon. They care about you and want to feel that connection. And that is totally fine with me. I also know that this little blogging community has just blown me away with how incredibly supportive and wonderful you are. So I guess, yeah, I would let ya'll know if we decide to go down that path one day. I will need all the prayers, support, and love I can get!
Today I saw that another preemie mommy blogger had a big ole' healthy baby. And it makes me so happy. It takes guts and, yes, risk to go down that road. Kudos to them for going for it. Such a beautiful, wonderful, magical thing. It gave me chills because I can only imagine how it must feel to have a baby in the hospital, feed it, get to hold it right away, and then leave a few days later. Pretty much sounds like heaven.
Not all of us preemie moms are the same. We all have different medical concerns. Premature birth happens for a million different reasons. For me, it was pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome. There is a likelihood that it could very well happen again, so you can see why we would be very cautious with having more children. But many women, with a history of pre-E, go on to have full-term pregnancies and that is wonderful.
Jack is the biggest blessing I could have ever hoped for in this life. Everything he has taught me and the joy he brings is indescribable. Would I do it again? Yes, of course I would. But would I wish it upon our family a second time? The "not viable", NICU journey and subsequent years of challenges and stretching? No, I would not. That is something I hope never happens again.
Long story short, was this meant to answer the question - another one?
No, probably not. Just some food for thought...