Monday, April 23, 2012

Thoughts on a slow and easy weekend

I felt like this weekend we let out a big ol' sigh. This spring has been marked by a lot of travel for Jon and packing our schedule to the brim with stuff. We didn't plan anything this weekend and it was glorious. As I've gotten older, I've come to realize that I really am a homebody. I'm an introvert in that I cherish the quiet and familiar and don't necessarily like to pack my schedule with too much.

I think I became an introvert the minute we left the NICU. Forced introversion you could say. Since then, I often prefer one on one time, than being in a large group. I don't know if this happened because I am finally embracing what I am most comfortable with or maybe it's the fact that spending four months in the NICU changes you. These days, I sincerely cherish and try to take note the small, beautiful things of life. Things I probably took for granted before Jack was born. I don't need big parties or events to fill up my time. I just don't need it anymore.What I want and crave is small and more real.

Things like spending the day with my boys.

As if I didn't already think he's the cutest thing ever.

A good portion of my weekend was spent out in our glorious backyard. If my friends or family are reading this, they know... Our home is cozy and warm, full of wonderful memories. But, it's just another late-seventies, split level home, in need of lots of remodeling. But, our backyard and surroundings are truly beautiful in every sense of the word. It's what sold us on buying this home. It's what we look forward to after each cold and freezing winter.

I spent many hours this weekend outside in our backyard and on our deck. I was reading Bloom by Kelle Hampton (famous mommy-blogger extraordinaire). Under the title of her book is the phrase "finding beauty in the unexpected" and if this book doesn't mirror in many ways my own experience with having Jack, I don't know what will. The book follows the birth of Nella, who they are shocked to find out has Down Syndrome. A large portion of the book is spent detailing the intense emotions and coming to terms with a new way of life other than expected, a new path, a new beauty.

A wonderful paragraph stood out to me and I just knew I needed to share it with all of you preemie parents. In describing healing:

"Healing is a bit like watching a flower bloom. You don't really know when it's going to happen, and despite the fact that you might be sitting there in front of barren ground attempting to will a bare stem to blossom, it doesn't happen on command. No, it is gradual. Like time-lapse photography. And as you are sitting, waiting, pleading for growth, you eventually forget that you are waiting until suddenly, days later, you look and behold... a bloom."

That's healing, folks. It doesn't happen like we want it too (quickly) and it most often comes when we let go of the process. It is gradual... it every sense of the word. If there is one thing the NICU teaches us, it is patience. I have found this to be true with Jack. He follows his own timeline, his own schedule for pretty much everything. What a lesson in letting go!

Along with spending wonderful hours together as a family this weekend, Jack rocked these super cute pj's from our friends across the pond. Thanks Felix and parents!

There is a lot on the agenda this week, so I am thankful for a slowed down weekend. To a new week!
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Jay, Gina, & Ruthie said...

I needed that quote, today especially. Still trying to figure out HOW to heal.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing
I really like

Becky Price said...

I love seeing pictures of Jack! You continue to lift and inspire me. I have had a rough time since she came home. Knowing I am not alone in what I am feeling is so comforting. People think I am crazy to be feeling anything but happiness. I am happy but all those other emotions are there too.