Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Below the Surface

There are some rumblings going on. Below the surface. In the deep. The past two weeks, I've been very light in my posting. Not "light" in the amount of times I've posted, but the content has been light, fluffy, and airy. Nothing much to wrap one's brain around. Just warm and fuzzy posting. Blogging that hopefully, brings a smile to your face. Not everything has to be deep, dark, and mysterious (although that seems to get more readers and more comments!). We are not always in crisis. There are times on the micro-preemie journey that is so wrought in happiness and joy, that I wonder if others could possibly comprehend. Lately, when I've been asked how I'm doing, I really, really want to scream out "AMAZING! WONDERFUL! WARM! FUZZIES! PURPOSEFUL! LOVE!" ... but that would make me look a little cooky, so I've been saying "really good". And I mean it.

These rumblings below the surface are good, happy, and exciting rumblings. There have been times recently where something will happen with Jack or I have an overwhelming feeling and I just wish I was eloquent enough to write about it. To just sit down and describe in a paragraph what I am feeling. To explain the gratitude I am feeling. To explain the joy. The creativity. To let all my loyal readers know what is going on in Jack's house. But it's much too deep and I don't have the literary skills to give that feeling or moment justice. I'm finding more and more that my photography is capturing feeling much better than my words ever could.

The amazing and wonderful thing about photography is that the viewer has sole authority to take what they want from it.




From this picture, I take away beauty, honesty, and innocence.

Yes, we are still doing the normal routine at our home. Jack is still in therapy, we are still working on eating, we are gearing up for cold and flu season... but this year, I feel so much stronger. More assertive. I know what I want for me and I know what I want for my son, for our family. Rumblings are a good thing.
Pin It!

9 comments:

Julie said...

Is that taken with your new lens? Simply amazing picture, Jessi. I know exactly what you mean about rumblings, about feeling full of life and potential and joy! So happy for you friend and the place God has brought you to!!!

Emily Real said...

I see that honesty, innocence, and beauty...and most of all, I see HOPE. It's just so beautiful. The deep thoughts and stirrings ARE caught in the expression...in the moment. Ahhh, you're right, there are no words, and I'm looking at it from this side of the blog, I can't imagine your attempts and longing to communicate it...shout it out as much as you want!! It's not cooky at all! :)

marcieament said...

Your writing is inspiring and eloquent. Thank you for sharing!

Michelle said...

I wish I could take photos like you do. You capture so much in your photos. I know the feeling you are describing. I think it's especially interesting for us because I had a full-term daughter first. While we loved watching her discover her world and learn new things, it's just so much different when the twins do those same things. It's not that we love them anymore than we love her; it's just different. There is this great sense of RELIEF accompanied with the JOY, and it really is undescribable. I love this post!

Sarah Pope said...

I don't know how you always seem to post the same thing I'm thinking...but always just before I write it! I'm SO glad things are going well for you guys. So so so so glad. I like all of the happy 'fluffy' stuff. It's really great....especially if that reflects where you guys are right now. And it sounds like it does. :) Jack is just too beautiful...and your writing is too! Thanks for sharing.

Alyssa said...

I can't tell you how many times I've thought the exact same thing. :) When you have gone through something quite traumatic, 'normal' life afterwards is so completely wonderful that it's hard to describe. I always think that nobody can possibly understand how happy I am, and how grateful....but I'm sure you do! Every single thing the kids do every day is amazing. It's an honor to be able to witness miracles every day.

Jack is looking so grown-up and handsome! So glad you guys are doing so well. :)

Babs said...

Beautiful, my friend! As it should be.

Shannon said...

So wonderful!

Our Beautiful Family said...

tears. of joy for you. and hopeful tears that our everyday life will soon be filled with juch normal, simple happiness. You give me hope