Thursday, June 23, 2011

Just Mom and Jackpants

Jack and I are spending a couple days alone together while Jon is at a board meeting a few hours away. If any of you like Life with Jack on Facebook, you may have seen the status update for today which was about our shopping excursion to the local mall. I found a couple things out: 1) Jack hates shopping and 2) He will proceed to scream bloody murder when stuck in a dressing room longer than 25 seconds. It was quite lovely, especially because I seemed to pick the store with absolutely zero other moms to commiserate with. I only got questioning stares from the twenty-somethingish guys. I wanted to say to them "you just wait!"

Right now I am trying to get Jack to nap and all I can hear coming from the room is an occasional "hi" and "pizza", which seem to be his favorite words this week. "No Nap Jack" just might be making an appearance today, which would be OK normally... but no husband, equals no help tonight with crabby Jack.

All this to say, I sure have respect for single moms.

I got an email last night from a single mom living in England. She also has a 23 weeker and was asking me how I deal with everything that goes with having a micro preemie son. She needed some encouragement, having one of those down times on the micro preemie roller coaster. I just wish I could give her a hug, because seriously, she is AMAZING. Here she is, raising this precious, fragile boy... navigating the medical community, worrying about things like cerebral palsy, not eating, and the dreaded "what will my child's life be like?" type questions. And she is working so hard to stay strong through it all. I am in awe of her. She inspires me to be a better mom.

I really do love getting all of your emails and questions. I do not have all the answers, but here are some things I do know:

You are stronger than you think. You have already made it so far!

You can deal with whatever diagnosis comes your way. There is a reason why you were chosen to be the mom of a micro preemie. I'm guessing it means you are pretty much capable of just about anything!

Take things a day at a time (easier said than done, right? I am constantly telling myself this).

You can have a happy and fulfilling life with a micro preemie. In fact, more often than not, mom's says they are happier than ever before, because they know how far they've come and their perspective on life is much more rich.

Surround yourself with positive people and end relationships that aren't so positive.  

Educate yourself to be your child's number one advocate.

Find other micro preemie moms, either in person or virtually.

And this goes without saying, but cherish each moment and never take for granted the gift you have been given. Because it really is a gift.

Some of you are alone in your micro preemie journey, and I want you to know that I am here for you, even if we live halfway across the world. I try to respond to each email and keep up with your blogs. I find so, so much encouragement from you. We are in this together! Please contact me if you are ever feeling alone or depressed or if you want to brag on your MP. I love to hear the stories of everything your little one is accomplishing!

From one micro preemie mom to another,


P.S. After pondering this post for a few hours, I was reminded of The Preemie Mother's Oath. 
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Julie said...

So did you buy that shirt on your shopping excursion...if so, it was worth the screaming!

I can't identify with challenges you face (other than facing a challenging evening alone after no nap!) but you continue to inspire and uplift me! Thank you.

Rebekah said...

Beautifully written and encouraging, just like you!

Alyssa said...

Thank YOU, Jessi! You are so positive and inspiring to so many people. I can in some way relate to most everything you talked about here....preemie worries, husband away, no naps and grumpy kids, screaming in a store. :) I once had the kids by myself for 3 days and after that I felt so proud of myself for being able to handle it without any major mishaps. It wasn't easy! I will try try try to start keeping up with my blog again...your blog makes me want to do that! So much to share with the world, but so little time. :) And I agree with Julie...that shirt you have on is really pretty!!

Babs said...

Great picture of you and Jack! And a very lovely post.

marcieament said...

What a wonderful post. Thank you!!