Saturday, April 9, 2011

Time to Think

Do you ever feel like you have a million thoughts swirling around in your head? And you just need some time to think through them? Just some quiet?

This week Jack and I headed over to Missoula for Jack's NICU Follow Up Clinic. It's a time for therapists to evaluate him and then relay those tests results to the Neonatologist (NICU doc). He was going in for his 18 month evaluation. We got up really early and made the two hour drive to Missoula. Jack slept the whole way and I had some time to just ponder my life, recent happenings, listen to some good music, and to pray. I love road trips in that way.

When I got off the Interstate at my destination, I immediately had that feeling - the feeling of contentment. I experience this most of the time I drive into Missoula. It feels like home. Missoula is "me". I can't tell you how many times I wished we could move back there. And being stuck inside during a long winter only exacerbates those feelings.

We made a quick stop at my parents house to get Jack ready for his appointment and then we made it over to the hospital. I'll save what happened during his evaluation for another post, but I'll just tell you it was two hours long and Jack was totally tired and ready to leave once they finished up.

That afternoon, even though he was totally crabby and sleep-deprived, he would not take a nap... and that's after trying all my tricks to get him to sleep. But he needed one so badly, so we got in the car in hopes he would fall asleep while driving around. I'm so glad my mom and I did this. Jack fell asleep and we got to drive around my favorite town for a good hour. I was able to see all my favorite neighborhoods and just think back on the good times we had living there... more time to think... more time to appreciate my life and dream about the future.

That evening I was able to go out with a friend, Erin. I haven't gotten the chance to sit down and just talk with her in about two years... way too long! Erin and I have been friends since high school and she was one of my bridesmaids. It was so nice to spend the evening with her. There is just something about a true, life-long friend, that no matter how much time you have been apart, you can just pick right back up where you left off. You understand each other and there is no pretense, just the genuine. It's what I crave. It was a familiar, lovely night. She is so happy about what's going on in her life and in turn, I am so happy for her.

even though it's a phone pic, I still like it
The next morning I woke up to the news that there was a huge snowstorm in Helena. I spent a good few hours debating if I should even get back in the car and attempt to get over the steep mountain pass. I decided to give it a try and the roads were surprisingly OK. It was more time to ponder my life. Jack slept and I listened to Iron and Wine the whole way. Totally chill, just what I needed. Sometimes you just have to get in the car and go. Allow time for quiet. Time to think.

P.S. It's been one of those seasons in my life where I feel like I've gained a lot of life experience and I hope to be able to blog about it. I want to thank all my new readers. Thank you for the nice comments and emails. I am so glad you are reading. Hopefully something, anything I say will be an encouragement to you. Sometimes life is amazing and wonderful and sometimes it sucks, plain and simple. My blog has been a great outlet for me to weed through my emotions. To put it out there, and to have such nice, positive things said, is truly more than I could have ever hoped for my little ole' online journal. Thank you.
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Julie said...

I agree with you! I love road trips (when my kids sleep!) as time to myself with no distractions...all I can do is listen to music and think. Glad you got a little time away.

And I've used the drive around trick many times as a nap last resort and it is actually sometimes more refreshing for me than when they take a real nap! :)

Emily Real said...

Love it! You ladies are beautiful!