Monday, March 21, 2011

Day 21

Day 21: A picture of something you wish you could forget

I am kind of torn on this prompt. The hard and brutal things of this life make an imprint on our lives that can't go away. We are shaped by them. For better or worse, we are never the same. The person I am today is a direct reflection of those hard trials and memories. Still, at times, I wish I could forget some of them that are most painful.

For instance, Jack's birth. It was a frightening day. I've blogged about it before. There are things about that day that I wish never happened. I've struggled with memories that come back to me at the oddest times and in nightmares. They stop me in step, and render me motionless. I know it's a symptom of PTSD and thankfully it's gotten better as time has moved on from the event.

I will always have certain memories about his birth. This is one of them.

Our first picture of Jack, snapped by Jon right after my c-section. Jon only had his phone. This is the picture that I sent out in a hazy text to our friends, begging them for prayers. It's a picture of our tiny 1 pound, 2 ounce boy, fighting for his life. I was not in my right mind, but I still managed to send this picture to a large group of people. We were so desperate for prayers, in a hopeless situation. And I know it is a jarring picture. But it is real and truthful.

It is also beautiful (hence the juxtaposition of today's challenge).
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Lindsay said...

Jessi, it IS hard to see little Jack struggling for his life in this picture. Are you simply amazed at how far he has come in almost two years? What a miracle! I can't wait to meet him someday once he's able to be around friends more often (and I completely understand why that's not possible at the time being!). Whenever you're in B-town, and feel comfortable with it, I'll drop anything and everything to see you and Jack. :)

Julie said...

I remember this picture. You are very right about remembering being both hard and beautiful. God has done so many miracles in Jack's life. Didn't you do a post of then/now pictures on Jack's first birthday...I thought maybe you recreated this one. I'm going to go back and search your blog because those pictures were amazing!

So thankful for you and for Jack!

Emily Real said...

Beautiful, honest, painful photo...What a journey!