Friday, January 28, 2011

Thoughts

Forgive me, I couldn't think of a clever title. I've been thinking a whole lot this week. I don't spend every week in so much deep thought, but the past few days I have been wrestling with ideas, hopes, dreams, and even mundane details. I haven't had much on my to do list, and maybe that's why it seems like I have so much extra time to think... and hey, I actually LOVE not having a to do list screaming at me. It makes me feel free. I try to remember that free feeling every time I'm dreaming about going back to a nine to five job.

Right now Jack is napping. I opted out of exercising on my elliptical (what I have been doing lately while Jack is down) and feel really comfortable to just to take it easy today. I have been really, really tired the past few weeks. I blame this squarely on my stubborn personality that MUST. FINISH. ONE. MORE. CHAPTER. of whatever book I am reading. You see, I read to fall asleep. It's pretty much a disaster if I don't have something to read for at least an hour before bedtime. Even if I wake up in the middle of the night and can't sleep, all I have to do is read a few chapters and I'm again, ready to fall back asleep. I've been reading a couple of really, really good books and they have kept me up. So I am tired... purely my own fault.

But still, I'm thinking, thinking, thinking. A tired brain, plus lots and lots of thinking equals a very random concoction of stuff cramming into my brain. Is this a random tidbits post then? Maybe.

Thought #1
I am really, deeply thankful for all of you that pray consistently for Jack. I know I don't say it enough anymore, but I really appreciate it. I still get emails, texts, and comments about how you make it a habit to pray for our sweet boy. He amazes us and many times throughout the week, Jon and I just silently look at each other and I know we are thinking the same thing - "wow, did you just see that?!" He continues to beat the odds and there is no doubt in my mind that your prayers are helping him in each and every way.

Thought #2
I am dreaming about what I want to do with this next phase of my life. I have a few ideas, but they are really disjointed and I'm having a hard time just choosing a path and going for it. I am aware that it has to be the right timing for such things and I also feel like I need some clarity. Who doesn't, right?

Thought #3
A good friend just had a beautiful baby girl. I am so happy for her! Her first birth experience was an emergency c-section where she was flown to another city. She wasn't able to see her twins for a day or so after their birth. I know it was a scary, not ideal experience (I can sure relate). I'm just so happy that she now has a very positive birth experience to remember. She was prepared and got to enjoy every moment. Makes me happy.

Thought #4
I am getting exited for our trip next week to Sundance, Utah. One of Jon's law school friends is getting married at the resort, a destination wedding. I am clueless about what to wear to this wedding. The dress for the occasion is "rustic chic". If anyone has any idea what this means, please let me know. It will be a quick trip, but I am so very ready to get out of the house and spend some time with Jon. My parents will be taking care of Jack (along with my brother, who is home from China) and I just know he will have a fun time. I'm also anxious to hit up Anthropologie, IKEA, and a couple other stores while we are there. Can't wait!

Thought #5
My last blog post... wow. I got more of a response and jump in my stats from that post than I have in a long, long while. I know it must have struck a cord. I am glad I wrote it because it needed to be said, but I can sure tell it made an impact. A few days after I published it, I started to feel a little weird, like maybe people were tip-toeing around me when they spoke. Hopefully that is all in my head. I mean, I was trying to convey that words have power and that many have really hurt in regards to Jack. But it was so not my intention to make others feel on edge... and please, don't feel weird around me, like you can't speak! If you know me at all, you know I appreciate real and genuine pretty much above anything else. I will continue to advocate for my son, even if it makes others uncomfortable, but hopefully I can do it with tact so as to not condemn, but teach.

Thought #6
My Superman - oh how I love him so! He has entered such a loving, tender stage. He gives kisses to anyone and everything. All his stuffed animals, kisses. Pictures of other kids and animals, kisses. Anyone holding him, kisses. Piled on that is hugs and squeezes and looks of adoration. I am in love.

Another interesting aspect of this new show of emotion is scratching and hitting. He he become quite efficient at giving me a kiss and a second later, a big fingernail's sharp swipe across the face. I am left confused, but it still cracks me up! So we are spending quite a bit of time teaching Jack that scratching and hitting are not allowed. Sayings lots of "that hurts mommy" and "gentle" over, and over, and over again. He has even got a few smacks on his hand. Those big alligator tears sure hurt my heart.

Did I mention how much I love my Superman?

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4 comments:

Lindsay said...

Rustic chic, huh? I think that's easier in the summer than the winter. Hmmm...maybe look online at the Sundance catalog for ideas. How about a lightweight cashmere sweater, knee-length skirt, & knee-high heeled boots? Or is that too casual for "chic"? All i know, is that "rustic" to me means chunky silver jewelry, and brown leather (not black). I'm sure you will look beautiful! You have great fashion sense, Jessi. Have fun! p.s. Too bad you missed the film festival!

Julie said...

I love your superman too! And those eyelashes. I would agree - chunky jewelry and brown leather is about all I could come up with for rustic chic. Have fun!!!

I am wondering what you are going to do with this next phase too? Help me with my Big Idea???

Emily Real said...

Look at that beautiful photo of your superman. Ah, he's a heartbreaker!

Anonymous said...

I have gotten a little obssessed with your blog over the last few days and have been reading a lot. Very educational, as I knew very very little about any of this before. I just wanted to say that your son is absolutely adorable. :)